Posted by crishia at 03:57 AM on March 29, 2005 as a favorite post.
As a young child, I used to envy my sister Patricia. I was always behind her shadows. Mom and Dad always had their eyes on her. Everybody had their eyes on her. Her song and dance act was always the highlight of the party. Even in the schools we've attended to, a play or a program is never complete without her.While she was busy minggling with the kids on the playground, you can find me behind books near the back of the library. While she was busy entertaining everyone with her childish stories, I just sat in a corner listening to the stories i made in my mind. She was the attentive one in class. Always the first to raise her hand to answer questions. I, on the other hand, go to school for the sake of going. My classes just bore me. The lessons I've already read from the books in the library.
I grew up na lahat na lang si Tricia, si Tricia, si Tricia! She was my parents' little princess. There was never a Crish. I was better known as Tricia's sister.
I was 7 years old. My parents have just broken up. It was the morning Mommy and Tricia left for the US. I went inside Daddy's room and saw him crying. The very first time I ever saw him cry. I asked him to stop but he just kept on repeating "They left me... what am I supposed to do now?" Secretly, I cried too. Why did he say "me" and not "us"? Am I not in this family, too?
During those days, I've seen the Dad that I've never seen before. Malungkutin... tulala... di makausap. At a very young age, I seem to understand what he was going through. Why? Because that was what I was feeling too for a long time now. He longed for Mommy and Tricia who were far away. I longed for him eventhough he was just in front of me.
Early morning of my 8th birthday. Yaya and the driver brought me to the church. They bought me a pink balloon. I felt happy. When we got home, Mommy called and greeted me on the phone. I felt happy. Abuelita called to greet me. She's coming over by dinner and she's gonna be bringing cake and ice cream. I felt happy.
I went inside Daddy's room. He was just lying on bed doing nothing. I sat beside him and asked if he knew what day it was. "It's Wednesday today. Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Dad replied. Of course I knew it was Wednesday and there's no school bcoz of sem break. Until today, I never forgot that feeling of like being stabbed in the heart when I heard what he said. For heaven's sake, there I was, holding my pink balloon with a big Happy Birthday printed on it. He forgot about my birthday. No! He forgot about me. "Why does it always have to be Mom and Tricia? What about me, Daddy? When will you ever see me?" The very first time I shouted at him. I was angry. I just stayed in my room the whole day. Yaya coming in every now and then.
I had my balloon. I had my cake. I had my ice cream. But I want my Dad.
It wasnt until late that night that he finally came in my room. "I'm sorry, my baby. I didn't mean to hurt you. I promise, from now on, I will never let you out of my sight. Daddy loves you very much."
From then on, Dad and I were inseparable. I am his life. I am Daddy's only little princess.
Not until now though... All I wanted to point out was Im already 26. Yes, I acknowledge the fact that I will always be his little princess but that doesnt mean I don't have a life of my own. I know he wants to protect me from all the hurt in this world, but I'd very much like to experience how those are in order to learn to stand on my own.
I dont like what's happening now. I want my Dad back. I want to talk to him again. I miss him very much.
dare u 2 move